amedee's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Lonely me.. I'm very tired but I'm no where near ready to go to bed. My mom and Bob are already to sleep. I want an apple. I can hear my tummy growling. I want to talk to Jamie. I miss her. She locked her diary. That really makes me sad. I wish I knew why she locked her diary. Probably none of my business. I still feel really lonely. I know it's stupid. I have a constant friend, I shouldn't be sad, but I am. I guess sometimes sadness is uncontrolable. I'm just lonely. Like you can't go to themovies with God. It's stupid of me to be like this, it really is. I think I've always been a loner and now I want a comstant friend and I'm having a hard time finding a friend because I don't know how. I've had two good friends and they are both faraway now. Distance hasn't hurt our friendship at all. I'm still lonley though because I cna never go anywhere and I never have any plans. I haven nothing to look forword to here on earth. I get so down because I have too much time to think and analyze and examine my non-exisitant life. If I had something to keep me busy I don't think I'd be so sad. Just one hobby to keep me busy. Hobbies cost money. Money my family lacks. There is one thing I love. Band. I love band. When I'm home I practice a lot. Next year I want to be firts chair. Band doesn't tke up that much of my time though. I know when I was happy. Swim season last year. I had a life. As much as I dreaded practice I missed it when the seasom was over becasue it kept me busy. I had a few friends on the team. I was happy. Really happy. I wasn'tgoign home and wishing I was doing something because I had something to do. Humph. Next year will be different. I'm going to have a life. ~Ash 9:40 p.m. - 05.08.2004 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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