amedee's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Day 12 - Just another day on the PDL Hey world. I think I've already mentioned that I'm getting baptized this weekend. I'm soooooo nervous. Why? I have no idea! What is there to be afraid of? There should be nothing. I should be excieted about testifying my love for Christ in front of about 40 people. I should be thirlled! But I'm mortified!! Ahh! Why is this so? Am I afraid of public speaking? Is that what the scary part is? I think I'm afraid that everyone who I want to be there won't show up. Like Tina. This is an outward expression of what I feel on the inside and I want my truest friend to be there. Plus, I'm sure she would like to see me get dunked. It's so stupid of me to be so worried about minor details that God will take care of. Like I'm doubting He is going to come through when He is the only one I can depend on. Stupid me. Ugh. I'm still so very nervous though. I'm crazy. Moving on.....I had biology review today. It was boring. I walked to Cassie's afterwards again and my mom picked me up there. I'm wondering if me and Mariah are still friends. I'm begining to think she doesn't want to be friends anymore. I hope that's not true. With final exams approching I'm feeling very antsy. I can't stop thinking about them. I study like mad. I'm going to all the boring review classes hoping to pick up something I've missed. You know what I've been thinking about lately. Guys. I actually want a boyfriend. Why? I don't know. Guys are trouble. When you get a boyfriend you are just asking for trouble. So why bother? Because they are cute. Sometimes they do really sweet things. They are quite humorous, too. There are two guys that I like. It is possible that I could go out with one but I think there are guys that fear me. Honestly, I'm not amazingly beautiful or anything but I'm not hideous either. I'm slightly interesting. What is keeping them away? God probably. The fact that I love God and I talk about Him all the time. Too bad, I don't want a guy that is afraid God takes up too much time in my life. I don't think he takes up enough. =P I could only ever love a guy who loved God. I wouldn't want to be with someone who didn't have the same passion. I wouldn't be able to talk to him. Anyways, tomorrow there is french review. Yippy. I'll be at school until 5 pm. Oh joy. (Can you sense the sarcasim? Good.) Blessings, Ashley 8:40 p.m. - 05.12.2004 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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